Monday, December 29, 2014


Cetvies                             © 2005 – 2014
Inthenameofhumanrights © 2005 – 2014
Cettevies                          © 2005 – 2014

I thought it would be relieving; it certainly will be since I choose to do that.
It is becoming dangerous. It would be possible it would be a danger. But if it is not it will.
Today, maybe was it the other day also, be it not an obsession, as it would be suicidal to add the heaviness of how it would be if you had agreed to.
Today, I thought that you could have done the same with him.
I then asked, not ask, not to speak to anyone, furthermore not now. I wonder what my whole life could well mean, for her.
Nothing is a game or this one is only the sign that it could happen for real.
I cried it, or rather I would have liked to, but surrounded by the jungle what do you want to do? The all town around, will I confirm that the skies might fall upon? If I am ready to give her what I am, well I should be able to quietly die.


Recapitulative history.
Since I am 16, I have been in love with someone who I sought in every place and person since then on.
The story we shared was the most intense I ve ever had. She literally saved me for one. Secondly my being positive that we would gather again, put in question absolutely any relationships that I came to nearly build.
I cannot say that it is negative in anyway as this woman helped me to live for something, love, namely.
I cannot say it rendered me lovely but whatever happened, some stuff very harsh for an average European, since, hope’s never let me down.
Not even the one of me having her again, but a life of convictions, helped by the possibility of being important for someonelse’s strength.
Catherine, in France, I went from town to town to get various jobs, and to get experience and reactions to them that I thought were apt. the convictions and all serve the little courage, insight and perseverance that otherwise you would miss.
I don’t think I can speak about all that and the significance for me to talk about it, as this has shaped pretty much of my beliefs.
I think that you know what that might be, the fact that even when no one is around, the intensity of your life and its mysteries are ruled by the decisions you took about, like loving the moon; certain that she is at the tide’s origins.
She was slightly older, initiated me to other religions, tolerance, and above all spirituality. She taught me to accept myself and contain the dream that would be for myself. She just was the only picture with which I could think of being till the end, aiming at, preparing an after death, happy.
Every time I met someone dear for me, I managed to think that I could forget her, but it never lasted long as the tiers persons could not fit.

Till 3 years ago.
I met someone who came to be very important too. Honestly, we could not suit each other really, but this did not prevent us to find out why. I experimented hell.
For her, you know, I stopped chain-smoking. One day, ten years ago, while trying to stop this addiction, I had a dream. Basically, I could not defend the love of my life, because of my being reduced by the habit, she died. I ve never had another one.
With this new woman my passion was grand. When I came back from work, everything in my manner of perceiving was so changed, matured, that it felt like hours of imperative meditation; a few times it felt like flying.
I had for the first time to admit that I loved s.o that loved me, and that was not possible- regardless of the fact that it would have been too problematic naturally- just because I was haunted. That was the deal.
I was ready to imagine a life of love with s.o else and when I imagined her very old, needing my flesh, some kind of warmth, I could not. Because my blood had been promised when I was a 16 year old.
I could see myself on the body of the woman with, to, who I own everything, unable to find my soul around, because of my having betrayed the woman now I am still loving.

She had a son the period we wanted and almost made it, after two years of being infertile.

All in all I always thought I belonged to her, I don’t know what to think today, for the first time, I think that perhaps it is a good sign.

I just want to know what s the wiser to do.
Is it to betray or is it to love you?

My answer is that it is not to betray, I was for her a person of her tree, but I took me 16 years to understand fully, rigolo.

I d always had this image of a princess with long hair down to the ground storey, perhaps I had to wait this age to be able to go out of my own tower.

They are doubles, models, passions, spouses, lives, children, leaders, inspirators, muses, prophets, philosophers, priests, bosses, partners, lovers, mates, friends, initiators, trainers, educators, parents, and there are halves.

I try to figure out, but life is not to be belittled, it has to be it that brings to live or sleep or life.

This woman, my mother, who so harsh would nevertheless whatever might happen in one’s situation, brain, conditions, never at least in her heart repudiate my body.
This woman, thrift, weight, exactitude and neat to avoid the talks. A work has to be served 24/7, grand dryness but at war as soon as her birth, she underwent survival.
This woman, who preaches education, independence, distinction and who always alone, severing all routes-, since I don’t think she holds to be respected, or perhaps the past was too severe on esteem turned upon around money, I don’t think she prays,- will stay.
This woman that protects my vulnerability, simply through talking, reading, this one for who I knew the calendar at the second past her say.
This woman, who spurned me but granted with her attractions, friendship or the sweet songs of false but guiding coronations.
This woman, who evidenced that there was life after divorce. My phantasm was to come up to her from a danger, and cry in her arms, in our bed, for several days.
This woman, in this organisation, that let me perfect my plan, this soft woman i always kept in mind as being the files bearer, the austere and smiling and thinking person I would have for spouse.
This woman that taught me and kept me, the older, my friend, my priest, who saw me out of my candidity, harassing me without harming me, the only to have try to face my disability.
This woman, than of all, permitted me.
This woman with who I made plans.
The life of my love, that never quit my mind one day, only now, she is here to confirm that we were ok, but for the first time letting her space to be taken by a voice, that this time is with mine, every time needed, everytime not to be redundant, honey.
Every of them are different characters, and you can be found in any.
Sentimental, but not the one that makes your tear, there is no end, or death by nihilism in spirituality.
I am not gonna kill myself if I cannot re(as)semble this, I ll still believe in God, the birds are here to sing its praise, birds, brooks, winds, and trees.
This woman, I cannot tell you, as inside the deed of seeing for one, every single joy, depth, remembrance are to find.

Nevertheless they all could reignite moments, I really served no one and it is a good as long as I still tilt and fall for any of these predicaments and happinesses, as without it, there is nothing stirring anylonger amongst the grey has to go on, the rulers named shadowy.
Shallowly, indeed, but from and towards where you can see yourself sliding and sliding.

I am scared witless of being in the wrong, even if it cannot be, since it could be love. And what if it is not, the umbrella under which people are left refugee.

If i took any steps, it is because what has always guided me, as well in the way of my being loyal to her, today comforts me that I could build a true life somewhere.

The territories are only what you can see. Soilely.


Tow her.

Some w here.

The metaphor of the apple tree, could it be a metaphor of incest between a same family, here a same species.
As psychologically it is the trend of thinking of one’s own species as somewhat superior and owning the realm just by having tasted one of its babies.

French apprete. Dressing. Taming.

Fully, funny.


Natural laws, are the ones with which everybody could be fulfilled the best, and so being, fulfilled humanity, surroundings and its descents progress.


To be so in wait, and want of a phone call.
That you can feel vibrations in your pocket and all around, pervading your veins and bones, without a call at all.
Employment seeking.

Societies organised themselves in order for each individuals to need the societies like it is (with its injustice, disfunctionalities, terrors, aberrations) to kill the free electros in the buds.

To appear reluctant, repulsive, like when sometimes horrors impose to lives and threaten up to ill. To feel in the situation of not doing or being able to do for helping anything.
To feel in the state of disgrace. Do not think of punition like self disappointment when it comes to put up with life.

Read literature is very frustrating, as when you try to get an overall approach of what may have been said, it is a laugh thinking about western-centred theory. As even in Human Rights and ethical fields, only Europeans thinkers are cited.
Never only an approach on the texts of other continents- or the struggle for ethics, solidarity, freedom and dignity that did not spare the words as the war waged have all but the spirit destroyed- revisited by these days academics.

A system where you can be sacked for a mere mistake or inadequatness, that you would have to simply redeem. A same system where structural injustice are not tackled by anyone, or no body in power to question them.

The system is a not working system in the sense of not being able to self reflectiveness.
Even when it admits past errors it is to emphasize the horrors of the past in order to playdown the horrors on which we feast along the days.
Its clogged features, where democracy and accountability is not permitted or is permitted in a shame, in a way or one can be overprivileged and accountable, pleading a transparency for legitimating corruption (oxymoron).
Systems justifying their obstructancy to reduce the lockean ‘every one against every one’, as without solid walls we could all end up as being another’s slave.
But solid does not mean prison, and instead of secure we find all positions moribund through the very menace of denunciation- underline a problem and you are put down, be found with one and be casted away.

What is berated as utopia and reality meaning the truths’ of the lords.
The mud and despair, it had been put down as imbecility.
The day when democracy will be judged as the word the more contemporarily used and abused.
By a system that when is questioned simply will derailed the notion of harmony- too tough for the nomembered- it passed unnoticed cause power infridgment is self erotic, as much as completely interested- even if protection for the own nearby, it is in the logics of them being at my service and satisfied, reinforced, formalized the sole pleasure for dishonesty- negative wanking.

Socialization process, thinking itself to be cool instead of normative.
Big bother.

As a ex-addict and definite tee-totaller, when one thinks that she could not get drunk with one big drink, she will know that she ate too much.

One might get very attached to traditions as they are the way for entertaining and gathering us.
More attached than that even, as the production and permission for art and leisure is sign of a healthy society allowing freedom of expression and securizing personal intellectual activities.
Art is the moment where souls might release their tensions onto the recognition of an appeal. And that takes everybody liberty.

For whom who think that u.k was easy going. look at the populations’ conditions of living during the industrial revolution.

Oats, corn, barley…as many types of cereals and veg-(premier), fruits and beans, for an irony constitutions.

La poesie et son jeu, de voir les choses en peu mieux.


I know he knows you.
Each time I catch a glimpse at my cat’s eyes, due to the light he knew arriving when you nearby, I expect to see you again upon his hearth, as my cat is like children and the light cannot invading just me.


, what is worth anything if we are not happy? Ok, not this one. Happier? I am worth anything? I d hope as I feel that you lead on to grandeur.
But me spoiling the spot? Yes, you and all what I d like to serve and my point and energy mastered, better in the opposite case far and away, to stay.

My thinking of you all the time. Where this will be leading?
Love has this virtue that whatever happens you think, you experiment heaven before having to wish things their change or their end.
It put people in a state of possible constant meditation about a constant same.
The only subject that my body all the time, with delice and gratitude could contain.

I now you would leave me for I am oblivious of my duties to be able to guest the best feeling. But what if I did not secure with peace building what I receive.
The sharpest threat to forget about everywhere but the spot we merge.
And hell hovering if I am disposed of the temple of more than dreams, the why of dared being.

My feeling for you render me jealous.
I cannot grasp anylonger how people might be able to be as strong as my abilities at longing for you.
Lame, should be then my claims.
And realizing this that war belonged to that serve.

Prophets are prophets and in the name of God, trying and giving their souls to foresee what better it could be, they wait for the follower, the next to find ‘peace minding’.

What do you think make me shake?
If I am homo it is because I love the other one, ok?
Also threaten me to kill me, stop loving is never gonna happen.
Corruption? Well you can stop people even breathing or believing in a better, proper life, so don’t take orders like if they were victories.

By the way, you cannot kill love between two persons.
Even were you the devil.

Love but not sexual relationship.
I am telling next step is to have laws on how you are permitted to nick.
For everyone, you get the drift.

And about who wants to stop two persons to be each other .
How do you think that they love themselves their spouses, much, much.
Ordination of marriage are simple jealousy taking the wheel.

Any way every one is dying, don’t they.
There is other subject.

Where the whole family or groups has only one voice counting politically, for example one person voting for all, it is in place a state to weaken the family themselves.
As it really appears that a family as one voice and not more, and also it reduces the view of the people. It is like saying you are two people with the strength of one. This process is of course very handy when you want to keep the power of money or possessions prevailing.
Also it counts on the lack of love and understanding within the family. Who would like one’s spouses to be stop from expressing and battling for more fulfilment? Apart people living together compulsorily, or compulsorily doing so through the fear that struggling for one’s each other voices will be by other groups sanctioned.

In our countries, when where is freedom of expression, where is no means. Who is gonna take into account a problem at work. I am not saying, go to the tribunals, ask for compensations and end of it. I am talking about a recognisance of all the problem, big or small that people are facing, not in a punishing or arbitrary way but in a way that improve, equalize and reinforce the networks between people-since security and diversity come from it. And the freedom, freedom yes but with means.

One of the most hurting I can think of, is to be given 10 minutes to explain and try to make sense, try to save, 10 years of one’s life.
What could I tell you if you asked me for my love to justify?
How much time needed to take a glimpse at the future back?

Wickedness might be seen as a reaction against an established system, i.e, if you can be bad, then it is because there is this room in the system to proof, to reinforce, or smooth, whatever it is to do in this and its surrounding or corresponding areas.
The fact that a situation is not proof problem could be the signal that other explorations, views and outlays are intrinsically deeply needed.

To try to give all to one’s art. As every day one can see what arts express of living.
To feel that I should be the one to write that as I can feel the remaindering of how and what you convey.

But never be able to do enough as when I think of you, you are the only one and when I think of my art, I just measure how much I did not go up to what touches.
What I did not combat.

No woman, no man. I am talking to my soulmate.

No woman,
No man.
No cry.

It is the consensus I just made with myself to keep following my convictions without seeing my chances for happiness dying.

My theory is simple, to fight and at the same time respect poverty as being only a reminder that live should be live and enjoy with humility, is to live as healthy and simple as one for the respect of any other alter should. I think of all traffic and honesty and logics convict me of using, through the system and my short sighting, or coming, and not to redemption the output of exploitative abusings.

My computer of which the options sparing the user with repeated and inevitable mouse actions that by default functions could be erased, is as sophisticated as my vacuum cleaner.
Progress when selective has just other ‘recovered’ constraints.

I could kill for you. And you? Not altogether.
I am explaining my violence appearing.

You are insolent, would do everything to prove that you don’t take into account authority.
As much as impairing people from their duties and them to participate to growing as much as complex unity. Not simpleton. You wild, and pretending, pretexting making the rules, you are and we are ‘poor child’.

To accept people’s condition, reaction, habits, state like a training they provide when communicating with someone. You are like that because of a society, of a history, of a life and C.V. I listen to you, try to understand and taste and testify. Tell me.

Beetroot. Good for joint condition.


A story.
A denounciation about mental harrassement.
What could be the reactions of an English or French tribunal (beauty example for them to be the judge of everything empowered by tax payers money)?
One: be careful because instead of sumonning psychologists, we will say that you are the one inventing things.
Two: but if you want to proof anything you ll have to pay a solicitor.

What do you want to proof without psycholo, in case of insolation?
Victims are not asking for prison, but for counselling.
But is not that bullying?
To say that you are the one that the problem, a problem made-without examining.

On another hand, better it is like that because justice like mental health issues are treated as being punitive and not corrective.

Mind the day they correct people from doing the same than the leaders, when you think that in this society they manage to punish certain thieves, not the ones that serve the legal system, it is called exonerate, or because a man want to be with a man, just like the other half of your being human. Considering that j us tic e is to take by pinching.

 Qui prend cote. Debiais.
De billets.

Biais,               =              billet = ticket, or bank notes.
Liasee              =               notes buck bunches.
Laisser             =                    leave, left.

What is nice is that selective intelligence, cannot exist.
That’s powerful.

Norms are given to occupy the minds. Every one busy at replicating, will be inferently aloof of their duties of creation and tolerance.
I have to be, have, advocate, like that.
As society is growing old and that whereas you don’t see in the streets many eldest people.
The norms of the family, just to justify abandon made societal.
Do like that because if you want a job of a cake, you tell the child separated from granny, the pets, the trees, every single pillar that makes existence and spirit, be oblivious of what laws deserve. The future is’t in any of our –if not dead, sentenced, don’t blame darkness it just seems now faty- bodies. Just look, applaud and pat.

How are you today?

Unemployment with underpayment are the best coercion that economy ever created.

Uk: 24-05-2010:
First budgets cuts are made on ‘child funds’.
To make it clear, nonnegotiable, straight-jacket that we are ruled by

There is a crime, got to confess.
Certainly coming from the actual deed that you put yourself consciously distant.
I feel like reproducing every time of screening across someone with features comparable to yours’.
When in poetry or extase, pretty much with any hint of life.
When in doubt, I don’t doubt ya.

The doubt is when one stop seeking.
Or look after its one’s interest exclusively, or wear blinkers to the fact that there is too much misery for no one to want someone else happy-as it is.

Human rights are at the center of caution and decree, as morals have the protection abilities and destruction capacities of religions.

Walthamstow, north London. Market place. Electronique message Police announcement: warning about crimes of any kind.
Replication G.Orwells of what might be ministry orders.

The computer, I presume for the poor, that cannot set or hold systematic functions.
That is to say you have to do hundreds time the same manipulations in order to begin your ever same tasks, instead of stabilizing handy settings.
This is not of course logical as when one is able to build computers, one find the job of permitting easy tailored simple option easier than the most childish game.
Are we tame into calculated mechanical repetitions?

Has wood sex?

People are becoming dreamers for ‘in the progress of development’ countries, just because what it is called development has caused the disparition or nigh-, of all big or little mammals, the visible in the paint, and the smaller that are felt for who knows that the countryside, empty of its flora and faun is half-dead.
I thank you for the day you ve given me today, and of your other creatures, I ll be the guardian not a destroyer.

What exploited by its one people?
Don’t give me that. There is no peoples’
Countries are simply borders and screen for financial illegitimacy.

You want someone’s dead body?
You would have a corpse.

You are telling me that it is the end of the family,
The truth is that you want harm my children?
It is why as a homosexual you ll become deadly.
As in live you ve got to fight for life, but more simply people threatened you directly.
What when they damned you to and the one you would help, house, who would be the measure for the whole of your sympathy and concern.

When people ‘save your life’, it is supposed to inspire ‘unlimited love’.
In arms.

Religious people.
But only on chit chat.
The culture based on wishful thinking and wall paper for cover.
Not at all, as long as religious are not religious, they are due to extinction.


An adult,
An audience,
An emergency,
An ordeal.

Being older and more confident.
Of having more experience.
Renders you calmer.
The taste of oblivion.

Racism. Is color blinding oneself to the beauty of nuances.

Feeling in love
And for it, thanks to
As energy cannot be waste
When weighting it
With what I owe you.
The achievement upon what one
A bounty.
As when whatever is felt but trigger by another sower
Being able to redirect
On the level of the wanted deeds.
Wishing then wise, necessary.

Like duties to it all.
The dimension passing by
The essence of taking care came of our world.
Speak about concentration plainly.

In transcription that me that since I love you and has to improve for not being to red at your approach, when I come to consciousness of my being in emotional contact with somebody, taken like a pretence to cease my on-going, I think of you, and only like that can find the amicable fashion to go back to my resume.

Writing today, and fearing tomorrow, as I will have to revise the casual, and to note what I spew, will retry me, without touching you.


Thinking of you, when I am weak.
Remind me that I should be tougher, and go back to my dreams.
I don’t know if you will ever agree,
But what, the chaos, disruption, eruption, explosion, metamorphosis, brought
Tell me at each moment that I am not a wheeler enough for you to be pround, willing, and satisfied, as long as I am so low and complacent.

All what I like bear your name.
All what I see bear my liking as you haven’t left.


Mental demands.

Cetvies                             © 2005 – 2014

Inthenameofhumanrights © 2005 – 2014

Cettevies                          © 2005 – 2014

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